Dear mouse,
Did your mother never teach you to twist the end of the bread bag to open it, instead of chewing through it? This chewing is just not polite. It makes a mess, and plastic can be hazardous to your health.
It's not a good idea to chew into an old bag of bread anyway--it's probably stale. And it's not nice to chew through the new, replacement bag of bread either. First of all, you didn't pay for it. And besides that, what do you expect me to eat?
Let me make this clear: bread is for humans. Mice should eat--I don't know--cheese and such. (Don't even think about looking in the refrigerator!)
The bread has been moved to an undisclosed location. Need I remind you that I have mousetraps?
Posts
I think you better use the mousetraps.
Dear mountainmelody,
Thanks for the lesson on how to better access the bread. However, since I do not have opposable thumbs, untying and then retying the bread bag would be difficult. Until I evolve, I suppose that gnawing will have to suffice.
And don't worry about whether the bread is fresh. I'll just enjoy the fresh the most, but I'll just consider the stale ones "croutons."
Since you know what mice enjoy, a little cheese left out at night WOULD be a nice change. Thanks. (However, please make sure not to put it on a trap; otherwise, I'd have to think that you viewed me as a non-friend, contrary to your salutation.)
And finally, since I also live in an undisclosed location, you can't really be sure if you've moved the bread closer to me or not, can you? :)
Sincerely,
Your friend,
The Mouse
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