bubbles
My dad randomly got out his will tonight. Apparently he hasn't looked at it in, um, several years.
It says that if he died, everything should go to his "dear, beloved wife."
If she's not available, everything goes to me.
My brother is never mentioned. Apparently he hadn't been born yet when my dad made his will. (Either that, or my dad likes me a whole lot better!)
It says that if he died, everything should go to his "dear, beloved wife."
If she's not available, everything goes to me.
My brother is never mentioned. Apparently he hadn't been born yet when my dad made his will. (Either that, or my dad likes me a whole lot better!)
According to the National Climatic Data Center, the probability of a White Christmas is officially zero at Birmingham, Anniston and Tuscaloosa.
try not to act too surprised by another picture of pine needles
It's definitely wintertime. You're going to be seeing a lot of pictures of pine trees.
4 luncheons
3 Christmas parties
3 rehearsals
3 magazine deadlines
Sometimes I wonder why this stuff can't be spread out more throughout the year, when I'm sitting at home doing nothing.
Oh well--Let the fun begin! Merry Christmas!
3 Christmas parties
3 rehearsals
3 magazine deadlines
Sometimes I wonder why this stuff can't be spread out more throughout the year, when I'm sitting at home doing nothing.
Oh well--Let the fun begin! Merry Christmas!
7:25—Start scraping ice off my car. Realize the driver’s door is iced shut.
7:30—Discover that kicking the door has no effect. Get in from the passenger’s side and get ready for a busy, stressful day at work.
7:50—Hear a loud “whoosh” sound while driving down the interstate. Realize the door is no longer iced shut but instead is partially open.
7:51—Hold the door closed.
7:52—Open and close the door while driving down the interstate at 65 MPH.
8:00—Hear reports of three accidents in a row (for no apparent reason) on 459. Slow to a crawl.
8:10—Listen to the radio.
8:20—Look out the window.
8:30—Call in late to work. “Oh, you must be on the ‘parking lot’ of 280!” No—I haven’t actually made it that far. Excited to hear there are wrecks there as well.
8:35—Start working via cell phone. In mid-sentence, hear honking and discover that my tire is going flat.
8:36—Pull off to the side of the on-ramp onto 280.
8:37—Curse myself for not being strong enough to take the tire off myself.
8:38—Call my insurance’s roadside assistance program. Put on hold.
8:42—Vow to take vitamins to increase strength.
8:46—Call answered; transferred.
8:47—Put on hold.
8:56—Talk to roadside assistance. Learn that the closest truck can come in 1.5 to 2 hours because of “bad weather in your area.” Find this interesting since there is no bad weather.
8:58—Wonder why I pay extra for this program.
9:04—Take the spare and the jack out of the trunk. Try to look pitiful.
9:09—Watch thousands of commuters go by. Later learn I made the radio traffic report.
9:20—Receive help in the form of two nice guys. (…not that it mattered at this point whether they were nice or not--)
9:35—Drive to the tire center at Walmart, where my tire is later patched.
9:50—Receive a ride from a kindhearted coworker who took pity on me.
10:00—Arrive at work.
7:30—Discover that kicking the door has no effect. Get in from the passenger’s side and get ready for a busy, stressful day at work.
7:50—Hear a loud “whoosh” sound while driving down the interstate. Realize the door is no longer iced shut but instead is partially open.
7:51—Hold the door closed.
7:52—Open and close the door while driving down the interstate at 65 MPH.
8:00—Hear reports of three accidents in a row (for no apparent reason) on 459. Slow to a crawl.
8:10—Listen to the radio.
8:20—Look out the window.
8:30—Call in late to work. “Oh, you must be on the ‘parking lot’ of 280!” No—I haven’t actually made it that far. Excited to hear there are wrecks there as well.
8:35—Start working via cell phone. In mid-sentence, hear honking and discover that my tire is going flat.
8:36—Pull off to the side of the on-ramp onto 280.
8:37—Curse myself for not being strong enough to take the tire off myself.
8:38—Call my insurance’s roadside assistance program. Put on hold.
8:42—Vow to take vitamins to increase strength.
8:46—Call answered; transferred.
8:47—Put on hold.
8:56—Talk to roadside assistance. Learn that the closest truck can come in 1.5 to 2 hours because of “bad weather in your area.” Find this interesting since there is no bad weather.
8:58—Wonder why I pay extra for this program.
9:04—Take the spare and the jack out of the trunk. Try to look pitiful.
9:09—Watch thousands of commuters go by. Later learn I made the radio traffic report.
9:20—Receive help in the form of two nice guys. (…not that it mattered at this point whether they were nice or not--)
9:35—Drive to the tire center at Walmart, where my tire is later patched.
9:50—Receive a ride from a kindhearted coworker who took pity on me.
10:00—Arrive at work.
on one of those portable signs with flashing orange letters:
Road Work Ahead
a few seconds later...
Happy Holidays!
Road Work Ahead
a few seconds later...
Happy Holidays!
Two-thirds of the world's population today was not alive in 1969.
You do great at being straight with people!! I think you need to give a seminar about speaking directly and overcoming Southern "politeness."
Hmm....I'm not exactly sure what I think about that...
Hmm....I'm not exactly sure what I think about that...
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